I have just become aware of some rather disconcerting information. You know the song “This Land is Your Land”? I remember singing it in elementary school. We would all stand together with the Queen looking down on us from the wall and the maple leaf flag hanging in the corner and belt out, “This land is your land, This land is my land, From Bonavista, To Vancouver Island, From the Arctic Circle, To the Great Lake waters, This land was made for you and me.”Click to read the rest
I recently stumbled across some disconcerting information that I felt a need to pass on to you. I know how appreciative you were of learning about rat poop in your chocolate bars and I realize you have been on the edge of your seats, eager to hear more such news ever since. Click to read the rest
It’s all Wayne Gretzky’s fault. Ever since the great one retired, it got all trendy and cool to go out on top of your game. Take Corner Gas for example. Click to read the rest
I was watching the Olympics on television with a couple of friends, when we noted all the empty seats in the stands. Click to read the rest
The Olympics are wearing me out. Honestly, I don’t know if I can withstand the pressure much longer. It’s not the competition. How could it be? It’s the summer Olympics and I’m Canadian. Every time they interview a Canuck after their event they shrug and say something to the effect of, “Well let’s be honest. I had about as much chance of scoring a medal as spotting a live beaver skipping rope in Tiananmen Square, eh?” Click to read the rest
This summer I have felt like a runner constantly shooting out of the starting blocks. Most days all I seem to do is run crazy circles like a happy dog but without the happy. Or the fur. Click to read the rest
This summer I became the Great White Turd Hunter. I am still trying to figure out how it happened. Click to read the rest
Everywhere you look people are wired. IPods’ suction cupped to their ears, blackberries glued to their palms, Bluetooth’s’ hooked to their heads. Text messages fly from fingertips revealing vital information. Like how someone just finished eating a half portion of pasta salad for lunch. Click to read the rest
Yesterday a hit man came in to take out the weeds at the Community Gardens. As he lowered his tiller into the weedy soil that borders the gardens, I muttered “Hasta La Vista Baby” to the stinkweed and lambs quarters while a fellow gardener actually broke into a happy dance. Click to read the rest
When Darcy and I got married we couldn’t afford a fancy honeymoon destination, so settled instead for borrowing his Dad’s truck and tiny holiday trailer and driving down to the 108 Ranch Resort. Click to read the rest
Did you know that you can get your very own wake up call service without even checking into a hotel? It’s true. Wakerupper, Snoozester and Wakeupland are just three businesses who deal in getting you out of bed in the morning. Click to read the rest
On July 2nd Darcy and I will have been married for 25 years. That’s two and a half decades; 300 months; 1300 weeks; 9,125 days or 219,000 hours. But hey, who's counting? Click to read the rest
It rained worms at our place last night. I’m serious. I’ve heard of it raining cats and dogs, but worms! After the down pour we stepped out on our deck to find it literally crawling with short green worms inching their way through the raindrops. These were the same lime green worms we had been finding in our hair after walking in the forest. They have the spider-like capability of shooting silk out their back ends and then swinging from tree to tree; or apparently from a tree to a human’s head. Click to read the rest
Bessborough Betty has been kidnapped. I can’t believe it, but it’s true. For those who don’t know who Bessborough Betty is, allow me to explain. Click to read the rest
In every childhood there are characters you take for granted, only to realize as you get older how remarkable that person actually was. Charlie Head was one of those characters. Charlie lived about two miles from where I grew up. In all that time I only spoke to the man once. I was about 12 years old and out riding my horse when I overtook Charlie on his way home from getting groceries. He shifted his bag of groceries from one arm to the other, a smile breaking across his tanned, weathered face. Click to read the rest!
Canada could soon become penniless. The Canadian Mint is thinking of tossing our little copper coin for a multitude of reasons, one of them being that it costs more to make the coin than what it’s worth. Many point to the “leave a penny, take a penny” tray as proof that the penny has become nothing more than a worthless inconvenience. Click to read the rest!
Our dog came with our house. The previous owners had recently been talked into taking the four year old abused dog from the SPCA, even though they already had two of their own. Their new place barely had room for two dogs, let alone three. We gleaned this information during our initial tour of the house and pulled it out like a trump card when we learned someone else was making a bid. We named our highest price and then I impulsively said, “And we’ll take the dog too.” So under the list of fixtures that would remain with the house the real estate agent added “the dog named Cheyenne.”
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Click to read the restAs I set up our booth for the Community Gardens at the trade show the last thing on my mind was pots and pans. I scarcely took note of the quiet man across the aisle setting out rows of chairs. Click to read the rest
I was cleaning out the empty nest recently when I came across some old comic books and that’s when it hit me; if Scrooge McDuck had really dived into his money bin, he would have been killed. There’s a reason it’s called cold, hard cash and not bouncy, splashy, soft cash. Sure ducks are pliable and squishy, what with all their feathers and down, but not pliable and squishy enough to survive a headlong dive into a bin of coins.Click to read the rest
ARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEOOOOOOOO!!!! That’s me strung out on wind. Our place has been rocking for almost 10 days. And nights. The rose bush enthusiastically slaps the east wall of the house all night long while raspberry canes echo their efforts on the south side. In the morning, they are still smacking the logs with the same furious energy as the afternoon before. The wind shrieks around the corners, while the dead grasses bend down to kiss the ground over and over again, bits of snow stuck to their ankles like glue. Click to read the rest
Whenever I start gardening I start tossing about quotes as freely as seeds. I have no idea why, but that’s the way it is so you’ll have to bear with me. Click to read the rest
I recycle, I compost and I try to condense how many trips I make to town. I don’t use chemicals on my garden or lawn – especially not in February - and I try to shut off all the lights whenever I leave a room. Sometimes my husband protests about being left in the dark, but it’s all in the name of living green. Click to read the rest
Little Jimmy gets to school early. In his dreams he has been there all night. Today he has to give an oral report. It’s going to be on bees. He chose bees because his dad keeps a couple hives and Jimmy thinks bees are the smartest, most fascinating insects ever. Click to read the rest
My paternal grandmother was the only person who could – or should – call me Shanny. Back then, my name might as well have been April Fool. On the first of April my grandmother, who lived a few country miles away, would phone to tell me our Shetland pony Skeeter was standing in her flower bed nibbling on her crab apple tree. Click to read the rest
I spent the day thinning my book shelves. Shelf space ran out years ago, but that did little to stop me from gravitating to every book store within a 20 kilometre radius of wherever I happen to be. Click to read the rest
Well, it’s that time of year when my mind turns to sludge. Milk cartons show up in the laundry closet; the iron in the fridge. I blame it on the weather. I am a product of my environment. Click to read the rest
Today most classrooms have gone to white boards; those white boards with the shiny surface that you write on with special dry erasable felt pens. The white board moniker at least makes sense; after all, they're white and they're a board. Black boards, however, are green. Shouldn't they be called green boards? Click to read the rest
What if every four years someone gave you an extra day? A 24 hour slice from the big cake of life to do with what you pleased! Your Day. Not a work day, not a family day, not a holiday, but a Your Day. A generous quivering slice served up just for you. That’s what Leap Year should be about. Click to read the rest
In the span of 24 hours our temperature plunged from 0 to minus 30 and then slapped us in the face with a wind chill of minus 52 just to make sure we were paying attention. The first night of what turned out to be a six day deep freeze was like sleeping inside a box of Rice Krispies. Snap, crackle, pop went the house as the logs shifted and resettled in the rapidly changing temperature. Click to read the rest
February 04 - 08 Chickadees Gone CrazyWell, I'm afraid it's official. The chickadees have gone nuts. Or maybe that's more a malady reserved for squirrels. The chickadees have gone seedy perhaps? Seedy, nuts or just plain crazy, something has certainly gone amiss with our black capped friends. Click to read the rest
Well, I'm afraid it's official. The chickadees have gone nuts. Or maybe that's more a malady reserved for squirrels. The chickadees have gone seedy perhaps? Seedy, nuts or just plain crazy, something has certainly gone amiss with our black capped friends. Click to read the restThe rising Canadian dollar has almost been enough to get me hooked on eBay again. Lately I have been dancing through auction sites with those surly lines that read "Payment in US Funds Only" humming "ka ching" under my breath. All those Canadian sellers who innocently insisted they preferred US funds simply because it "made things easier for their customers" are now being forced to admit that the only thing it made easier was fattening their own wallets. Normally I brace myself for the inevitable upgrade to US funds, but lately I’ve been scaring the dog with my maniacal cackling when the total comes up. Our poor hound is still recovering from the weekend our dollar traded at $1.10 U.S. Click to read the rest
If Canada were a giant horse staring out over the Atlantic then I would be living somewhere on its flank. Given this positioning, when the horse lifts its tail the law of gravity will dictate that the pile of steaming road apples fall somewhere in the vicinity of Vancouver. Not that I would encourage or approve of such an unfortunate occurrence, but that’s simply what would happen should gravity and a full belly of hay collide. Click to read the rest
I am sicker than a dog. That's a stupid expression, if you ask me. I mean, how sick are dogs? Dogs have to be about the healthiest animal out there. Look at all that energy. We have a 14 year old collie that still runs those crazy circle laps for no reason at all. She's 98 in human years. You don't see too many 98 year olds running circles around their houses. Well, except for Uncle Arnie who did a couple laps in the nude that one time, only it was around the nursing home and we aren't supposed to talk about it, so I won't. Click to read the rest
Living far from the rollicking coast you might think we poor prairie folk have never experienced the thrill you get when you crack open an oyster to reveal a pearl inside. Excuse me while I attempt to stifle a yawn. Click to read the rest
I have a bit of a reputation in my family for being uptight. A worrier if you will. Frankly, I’m tired of it. Moreover I feel wronged. I’m no more wound up than any other mother out there. If a person keeps being told they’re a worrier, it’s only a matter of time before they start to believe it. Clearly the problem lies with my family’s false perception of my character, rather than with my character itself. But I forgive them because that’s kind of carefree person I really am. Click to read the rest
2008
SLICE OF LIFE
by Shannon McKinnon
